Why I chose not to promote the significance of America’s newest anecdote of violence

Life coach, Tony Robbins believes, and I agree, that one of life’s great motivations is significance. Significance can just as well be evil as good. Names like Hitler or Stalin are remembered and often given more cultural significance than history’s heroes.

The economics are great for the news industry: rising supply of evil to sell and a relentless demand from customers. Americans have an infatuation and insatiable appetite for bad news. Like sex, tragedy sells.

To illustrate how violence is often fueled by significance, Robbins said, “I come up to you and put a gun to your head, just how significant am I on a zero to ten scale in your life right now?”

Violence is complex and I won’t pretend to understand the mind of a killer, but I see American media give a hero’s front page tribute to every sick, murderous bastard that terrorizes the public. And hundreds of Facebook friends play right along.

I appreciate those who with good intentions, want to express sympathy for those affected that they don’t know, but feel compassion for. I respect the need for more dialogue on solutions to our unsustainable culture of violence. When it really comes down to the heart of the issue, though, and we are really honest with ourselves, bad news is often merely the entertainment du jour. It’s something to read about, something to talk about, something to fixate on for awhile. The more we’re willing to offer our attention and lend significance to violence, the more we support a culture that feeds its perpetration.

Is your participation actually contributing to a solution or feeding significance to the growing problem of our love affair with tragedy?
 

 


 
 

Becoming a potter

Jonathan Adler is a great example of someone who couldn’t succeed at anything—except what he actually wanted to do. The key to his success was his ability to tune out the reasonable, responsible advice of the people around him and pursue his lifelong passion for pottery.

I saw this video originally on 99u

 

 
 

Do good

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

—Dr. Kent M. Keith

 

 
 

Making friends out of strangers

Yesterday, I met a couple strangers at IHOP.  Courtney and Matt were coming from Portland, Oregon on their way to Portland, Maine with the intention of meeting new people all along the way.  They were recently married and this unusual trip was actually their honeymoon.

The dynamic between the two was fun to watch.  I couldn’t do it justice, so I won’t attempt a description.  The thing that I can say is that they certainly make a good team.  It was obvious that that had different ideas, styles, and skills, but there was a common love for adventure that formed a powerful connection and helped them share this dream—and hopefully many more.

I listened to them describe how their idea had been conceived, and the long, committed process they endured to plan and prepare for the trip during the following years. Perhaps the most moving part for me was a small piece of paper that Courtney had with her in a notebook.  Years ago, when she first starting thinking about this idea, she began writing down the first draft of a plan that now, a few years later, had become an inspiring reality.

This is where it all began.

Being truly creative takes the courage to face an empty canvas.  It’s not often in life that people are willing to start with nothing and embrace an entirely unique and truly original idea.  Perhaps the greatest challenge is taking the first step into the darkness or making the first stroke of a painting.

Artists are rarely valued during the creative process.  It’s one of life’s great ironies: the world loves its things, but is leery of those who create them.  Courtney and Matt talked about the skepticism that some had for their idea.  Weren’t they a “little too old” to be doing something like this?  Why not go somewhere “nice” for your honeymoon? I was reminded of what Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

To me, the most profound thing said that morning was the answer they gave to my question about what they felt their goal or purpose in life was. Matt answered first and Courtney concurred. I expected two people with such above-average ambition and so much love for life to have some clearly defined understanding of life’s meaning or their greatest goal. As Matt explained his thoughts, he mentioned the power of living intentionally. It was clear they understood the value in that. But it was what he didn’t say that really surprised and impressed me. To me, it seemed as though he was saying that his meaning in life was to continually search for meaning, as if the question was all that really mattered. At that moment, I realized that for me, I want my life to be about staying openminded and always committed more to asking questions than idealizing conclusions.

Thinking outside the box, doing things differently, questioning the ‘quo, exploring new places, meeting new people, and following your dreams can all be very challenging and are often met with more failures than success. Maybe it’s better to fail big than to succeed small.

To learn more about Courtney, Matt and the journey, check out their website: breakfastwithstrangers.com